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I should’ve done this a long time ago. I thought, making my way through the museum.
With my mind focused on the most challenging problem of the day, where to eat breakfast, I couldn’t believe how easy and uncomplicated my life had become.
The strange noise echoing through the massive corridors snapped me out of my daydreaming.
“What was that?” I whispered to myself, completely unconcerned.
When the noise didn’t repeat itself, I shrugged my shoulders and continued on my way. In the back of my mind, I chalked the sound up to the air handling system either switching on or switching off or someone dropping a heavy box. Either way, the sound didn’t affect me at all and I immediately forgot all about it.
Passing a large fountain near the center of the museum, positioned exactly at the intersection of six hallways, each one leading to a different time period in human history, I smiled at the thousands of coins, some copper, some silver, and some a mixture of various metals, lining the bottom of the water feature. Each one of the coins undoubtably tossed in accompanied by a wish.
Still full of optimism, and my mind returning to the problem of where to eat lunch later, I glanced up to the statue affixed to the center of the fountain, spouting water high into the sky, only to fall and slash into the pool below moments later.
“I wonder how many coins are actually in there?” I asked myself.
The casual question vanished from my thoughts, replaced by amazement as the gallons of water spouting into the air and falling into the pool below impossibly stopped in midair. I then noticed all the other museum patrons inexplicably frozen in place.
“What the hell?” I muttered, unsure if the water and people impossibly froze in place or if time itself somehow stopped for everything except me.
Both options defied reason.
Maybe I fell asleep? I thought.
In the instant after the water and museum patrons froze, to my front, a blue dot appeared out of nowhere. Then the dot began growing larger and larger until a perfectly round, ten-foot by ten-foot circle formed magically in the air.
This can’t be good.
Before my mind could grasp all the changes occurring in reality around me, something even more unbelievable occurred.
A scantily clad woman, oozing sexual magnitism, emerged from the magic circle as if passing through a doorway.
Yup. I thought, not believing anything my eyes showed me for even a second. I definitely fell asleep.
As if greeting an old friend, the woman waved and walked up to me. “Hey, you.”
Even more convinced of my dream hypothesis, I nevertheless glanced around the corridors filled with frozen people, searching for someone else the exotic woman must be speaking to, as I’d never seen her before.
“You, you speaking to me?” I eventually asked clumsily. “What’s that now? What did you say?”
“I said ‘hey you’.” The woman laughed at me. “Is there something wrong with your ears? I couldn’t have been any clearer. Hey. Cool fountain. Oh. Wow. Look at all that money in there.”
“Who, who’re you?” I managed to stammer, still in a state of mild shock and still half-convinced I’d fallen and hit my head on the edge of the fountain or something.
“Oh, sorry, how rude of me!” The woman exclaimed. “I’m the Harbinger Supreme!” As she announced herself, the strange woman bowed deeply. “In physical form, naturally, and completely at your service.”
Wake up, Nash!
As the woman raised herself from her bow and smiled warmly at me, I blurted out another question in my confusion. “Who?”
Furling her brow at me, the woman answered. “Am I not speaking loud enough? I’m the Harbinger Supreme. Look, I don’t mind answering the same question over and over, but it does get a little tiring. Cut me a break?”
“What? What happened to the fountain?” I asked stupidly.
“Looks fine to me.”
“Fine? The water stopped in midair.” I pointed out, my mind still foggy. “It’s not moving.”
“It’s not?” The woman asked. “Oh, sorry. I guess it stopped because of me. Like I said, sorry about that. I can’t exist in your fourth dimension. Maybe. I don’t know. Actually, I’ve never seen a fountain or even water before. Isn’t that what water is supposed to look like?”
“You’ve never seen water?” I stammered.
“Honey, I’ve never been in a physical form before.”
“A physical form? Your physical form is that of a sexy woman?” I asked, immediately regretting the question as I asked it.
“You think so?” The woman gushed. “Thanks! Of course, I can’t take complete credit for it. After all, I appear only as you want to see me.”
“I don’t even know who you are?” I blurted out. “I didn’t want to see you at all.”
“I’m the Harbinger Supreme.” The woman replied. “Didn’t we cover this already?”
“I’m dreaming, right?” I replied.
The pain from the woman pinching my arm convinced me I wasn’t dreaming at all.
**********
​
Focus, Nash! I silently told myself, realizing I faced a supernatural being whose true intentions I didn’t know.
“Yes. Good idea.” The woman agreed with me. “You should focus. This is very important stuff.”
“You can read my mind?” I accused the supernatural thing, in the guise of an attractive woman, standing before me.
“Sure. After all, you’re reading my thoughts. Like I said, this manifestation you see is actually your mind attempting to understand me. Spoiler alert! It can’t. Anyways, here we are. Two mind-reading beings conversing by this beautiful fountain. It is beautiful, isn’t it? Like I said, it’s my first fountain. Anyways, you think you see a woman, but I’m really not. I’m not anything you can conceive actually. Neat, huh?”
“So you’re not a beautiful woman?” I asked, skeptically. “And you’re not standing right here?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No.”
“You know I can see you, right?” I asked sarcastically.
“Look, let's not dwell on what your mind sees and doesn't see.” The woman replied playfully. “No, because, even though I said I came to you in physical form, I really don’t have a form. You see me as you want to see me. As my thoughts to you project me to be. However your brain… You know what? Forget all that. I know, the best way to describe myself is as a voice with a form. A form you can’t comprehend, so you imagine me however you like. Same with my words. You see my lips moving even if they’re not. I transmit my thoughts to you, but you hear them in your own language, in whatever cadence you want, so it’s easy for you to understand. Except when I deliver my herald though. That has to be read word for word in your language. It’s like one of my work rules. By the book!”
“What?” I asked.
“What? Why do you keep asking me that? Nevermind. This is leading us nowhere and I have a job to do.” The woman explained poorly.
“What do you want?” I asked, not convinced of anything the woman said.
“Finally! Down to business. I like it!” The woman agreed. “Since you asked, I’m here to deliver you a warning. A herald of bad news if you want. You see… Here’s a preview… There’s this bad dude. No, not a dude. Bad thing really. And its sleep is being threatened and, well, I’m here to warn you about it. Oh, and you’re welcome by the way. You know, or maybe you don’t, but I came a long way to get here.”
Not trusting my eyes or ears and completely confused, not knowing what else to ask, I asked, “So you’re the what supreme now?”
“Oh, you are dense.” The woman teased. “I’m the Harbinger Supreme. You know? A harbinger? The one who gives a sign or indication of something to come? A harbinger? Try to keep up.”
Entirely on guard at last, thinking I dealt with a spirit of trickery or some other supernatural being attempting to fool me, I asked seriously, “And where did you come from?”
“Nowhere.”
“Nowhere?” I repeated her answer skeptically. “And now you're here?”
“Exactly. Or at least my consciousness is, my thoughts, in physical form. It’s kinda cool.”
“Your thoughts?” I asked.
“Look. it’s really a little more complex than just thoughts.” Taking a deep breath, the woman continued. “How can I explain? I came from nowhere and I’m here… But not really, and you can ask me about the mechanics of the whole thing, but you wouldn’t understand for hundreds of years… And with time stopping and all… Well, just understand that you can’t grasp my true nature. Got it?”
“You’d be surprised what I can grasp.” I replied.
“Oh! Look at you flirting with me!” The woman laughed. “How cute!”
I’m not flirting! I thought, becoming more and more frustrated.
“Sure you are.” The woman replied to my thoughts. “It’s cool. I don’t mind. Anyhow, it’s time to begin.”
“Begin what?” I asked.
“Um, my herald.” The woman replied. “Like I said, please try to keep up. Don’t you want to hear it?”
Still on guard, I replied, “I’m not sure. Why now?”
Laughing playfully, the woman answered. “Why now? Why not now? Just kidding. Now because it's time for me to deliver my herald and now because you need to know something is awakening an ancient evil. Plus some other bad dudes will try to stop you, I’m sure. Trust me, the time is now. You want to hear this.”
“And this herald, it’s for me?” I asked, beginning to catch on.
“Bingo!”
“You’re sure?” I asked.
“Am I sure? You’re the guy who sometimes uses the moniker of the ‘Corsair’, right? Yeah, I’m sure. Look. I have one job. Just one. And it’s to deliver this herald to you in person. Trust me, I didn’t make a mistake. Not one that big. You’re the only guy to stop all this and you have to receive the herald. It’s like the law. Ready?”
“Not sure.” I replied, unwilling to accept anything from the woman.
“Too bad, here it is…” The woman announced playfully as she began dancing around foolishly and snapping her fingers. “Get ready…”
Instantly, the woman’s demeanor changed from a flirty, silly one to a demeanor of complete seriousiousness. As she changed, trumpets sounded in the distance from all around us. As I glanced around, searching for the location of the sounds, I noticed a large scroll had materialized in the woman’s hands. Reading the scroll aloud in an impossibly loud voice, I fought the urge to kneel as the being who introduced herself as the Harbinger Supreme delivered her herald.
**********
“Honor is yours! Behold the official herald as voiced to the cosmos by Alala, the Herald of S’glhuo, known as the Harbinger Supreme!
La, la, Chtulhu fhtagn!
Greetings, blessings and warnings!
O Warrior, mighty guardian whose true name is forgotten by the world!
O Warrior, brave vanquisher of the impossible shadows beings, involuntarily yanked out of time and space!
O Warrior, mighty slayer of the kraken Cthylla, The Secret One, and of her star-spawn!
O Warrior, brave imprisoner of the mutated remnants of the Lloigor, the undisputed rulers of the underground lands.
O Warrior, instrumental in the vanquishing of the outlaw Yith after their release from the Container of Amrita!
O Warrior, heroic destroyer of the undead vampire lord, killed and reborn thrice!
O Warrior, wise eliminator of the Demoness Ammemeti, The Eater of the Dead!
O Warrior, unhesitating executioner of the once immortal and invulnerable Lich, the undying Emperor of Askumian!
O Warrior, terrestrial protector against the prophesied return of Anubis, whose name could not be spoken, from the otherworld!
O Warrior, the virtuous judge of Yig, the banished Lizard King of Valusia, and of his corrupted offspring.
O Warrior, victorious champion of numerous other battles and rescuer of countless souls from threats both natural and unnatural!
Know Ye, O Warrior, the time is nigh!
Woe to the Earth! Woe to the Earth!
I, the Harbinger Supreme, begrudgingly herald the awakening of Azathoth! The Great Old One!
The Great Old One mocked as the Blind Idiot!
The Great Old One worshiped as the Deep Dark!
The Great Old One hailed as the Cold One!
The Great Old One feared as the Outer Sultan!
Know Ye, O Warrior, the End is at hand!
Know ye, O Warrior, for the past several thousand rotations of your planet around the nearest star, the deceiver Nyarlathotep has worked feverishly towards waking the Great Old One. A terrible event which I now herald. An event which is now set to occur without your immediate intervention!
Know Ye, O Warrior, the time is nigh! Act now! Act now!
Ia, Ia, Shub-Niggurath!
Thus concludes the official herald as decreed by eternal law, proclaimed and delivered to you in person, witnessed by the cosmos, by none other than myself, Alala, the Herald of S’glhuo, the Harbinger Supreme!”
**********
As the woman finished her official proclamation, the scroll in her hands instantly vanished. When she spoke to me again, her serious tone and demeanor switched back to the friendly continence she initially introduced herself to me with. “Ta, da! Well, that’s it! What do you think! Believe me, that was a mouthful. I aced it though, right?”
“What?” Is all I could utter after hearing the herald.
“What? Oh, no you don’t.” The woman warned as she winked. “That was a one-and-done type thing. I’m not repeating myself. Even for you.”
“What?” I asked again as I went over the herald in my head.
“Now you’re just teasing me, right?” The woman asked. “Or are you flirting again? Look, Nash. Corsair. Human. I can speak every language ever uttered by every creature ever created if I wanted to. I’m pretty sure my herald was quite clear to you.”
Despite her playful attitude, I began to understand the seriousness of the warnings from the timeless being standing before me, and how the herald warning she read, had cosmic repercussions. “No. I understood the herald. What I meant was, what exactly am I dealing with here? Who is this guy trying to wake this great old thing? And what or who is this old one? What are its weaknesses? Where are they now? And why me?”
“Sorry.” The woman sang. “We’re done here.”
“What?”
“Here we go with the ‘what’ again. Do you know any other words?” The woman teased. “I mean… come on. What? Enough with that.”
“Not what.” I explained. “How? How do I stop this from occurring? Do you know?”
“Yes, I do know, but.. Nope. Sorry. Like I said, we’re done.” The woman stated. “Besides, the information wouldn’t help you anyway.”
“Of course it would help me!” I exclaimed, beginning to become annoyed with the woman’s casual attitude towards what I now understood to be a serious issue. “Why wouldn’t the information help me?”
“Because you’ll forget all this the instant I leave.”
“What?” I spat.
“There you go again.” The woman teased as she turned and began walking back towards the blue circle she arrived through. “With the whole ‘what’ thing?”
I placed my hand on the woman’s shoulder to prevent her from leaving. “Why would I forget all this?”
Glancing at my hand on her shoulder and then back at me, the woman explained. “I don’t know. Because that’s how it works? I deliver the herald because I have to, but you remembering it, that’s not a law or anything. You’ll forget the instant I leave. Sorry. Try not to let it bother you.”
“That doesn’t make any sense?” I told the Harbinger Supreme, removing my hand from her shoulder. “None of this does. Why warn me, why come here and tell me this, if I’ll only forget?”
The woman began laughing. “Doesn’t make sense? Sense? Wow! Welcome to the universe! Of course it doesn’t make sense. That’s the point. It’s all chaos. This is what you’re about to deal with… Cosmic chaos! It’s all insanity. Anyhow, good bye and good luck!”
“Wait, where are you going?”
“Aw.” The woman told me. “You care. You really care. How sweet.”
“What? No. Look, I want to talk to you.” I explained. “Where can I find you?”
“You can’t. After this, I no longer serve a purpose so… How can I explain this? So I’ll cease to exist. We won’t meet again. See you later, alligator! Oh, no, wait. No I won’t.”
“You’ll die?” I asked as the woman walked into the blue circle.
“No. If I never lived, I can’t die. Good luck!” The woman called over her shoulder, blowing me a kiss.
In an instant, both the woman and the circle vanished as the sound of the splashing water caused my mind to return to the problem of where to eat lunch. Smiling, I glanced up to the statue affixed to the center of the fountain, spouting water high into the sky and back to the pool below.
“I wonder how many coins are actually in there?” I asked myself.
Shrugging my shoulders, I continued on my way, following dozens of other people, choosing to aimlessly walk down the hallway leading to the Egyptian exhibit.
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